I became a migraineur exactly 10 years ago, experiencing my first and worst migraine at age 20. There is nothing quite like the unpredictability of a blinding headache to remind you of your finite nature, your humanity, and most of all how much you do not know in spite of all you may know about a tiny, tiny field of knowledge. Am I grateful for migraines? Well, yes and no. Of course I am not glad to have them. But I will say I am glad for what they have taught me – to control what I can; to remove stresses and triggers where and when I can. I have begun to see my body as a miraculous machine that should be treated with kid gloves. I have also learned that things are only in my control to a certain extent and I have to accept that. This could make me frustrated but in the Christian understanding to accept this is the beginning of wisdom. I am therefore grateful to have come to this understanding.
I missed updating yesterday because of a migraine, so today’s is a combination:
I am grateful to live in a time of pharmaceuticals that although not without serious drawbacks, tend to alleviate the pain eventually. If you have never had a migraine you have, I would venture to guess, never taken migraine drugs. Most of them are, in a word, horrific. From Maxalt to Topomax I have tried them all and I find myself lying there waiting for the initial rush of blood and heat to the head to subside and the alleviation of pain to begin, doing some rough math to see if I think it is worth it – is the treatment worse than the disease when just in the nick of time some rush of relief takes place, answering the question for me. It was only twenty to thirty years ago that there were no pharmaceuticals for migraine on the market widely available so though it may be a small thing or even a silly thing to be grateful for I am grateful I was born when I was. I lose approximately 10 calendar days of functionality a year due to my migraines. Had I been born in another time or place it would be much worse for me.