Gratitude: The Sense of It (Not the Showcase of It)

I set out to practice and share daily things for which I was explicitly grateful for the month of November. Did I succeed? No. In my failing, I am happy to report that where I failed I only failed in the public reporting of those things for which I was grateful.

While down at the beach (Kitty Hawk, NC to be more specific) it became apparent that ascertaining and maintaining a strong signal on my phone was going to be far more than I wanted to deal with.  So precious is any time with my grandmother at this point there was hardly a question as to how I would be spending my time — being glad to spend it with her (and/or my aunt, my niece and the rest of the family) or writing about it.  Admittedly, I am sometimes a perfectionist and though the “unclosed loop” of a stated goal left unfulfilled bothered me a bit, I could, I knew waste a lot of time on dealing with it, waste a lot of time being irritated by something rather non-consequential or I could choose to be certain that it was not important. I chose the latter. I was grateful every day. I was grateful when, after days when my grandma exhibited no lucidity to speak of to the point that it was quite painful she would have 10 minutes or so of “her old self” appear. I was grateful when my niece Clara filled my heart past what I had previously thought was its full point. I was grateful when I had time to read a book, for fun, and realized that though I have been perhaps existentially shattered and glued back together; to be able to take an afternoon nap, untroubled and with a clear conscious is something many will never know. I savored it. Later on as I watched my dog’s chest rise and fall as she softly snored after dinner I was again grateful.

I sometimes wonder, am I particularly surrounded by beauty or is it that I see beauty everywhere? No matter, I suppose – the outcome is the same. I feel, for whatever reason, as though it is everywhere.

Here is a bit of what I saw through my own eyes last week — as always, beauty was all around.

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