Perhaps I Can Relate too Much

I am currently reading the second spiritual autobiography of a writer I like very much. She is five years older than I and in her first work told of her coming to the faith in adulthood. She recently released another book about being a faithful person when human relationships fail – her marriage in her case. Some reviewers have been extremely unkind, which is not to be unexpected, I suppose. I have to wonder whether this would be the case if a man authored such an honest work? I highly suspect that if this were the case there would be no shortage of back-patting for such honesty and self-examination.

I was especially bothered by the reviews that criticize Winner for speaking about her former partner rather than to him. I highly suspect that anyone willing to open up, in print, about their failings and failed relationship would be willing to do so. It is possible that he has entirely closed off communication, as ridiculous and unhealthy as that is. I know for a fact there are men that do this because when my long-running, spiritually destructive relationship ended that is precisely what my ex did. The emotional equivalent of sticking one’s fingers in their ears, these mature folks cut off communication and say they don’t want to talk to you anymore. As frustrating as it is, it is more detrimental to them in the long-term, we know from a mental health standpoint. The emotional excavation that Winner did in print; that I did a teensy bit here and with people capable of true love and support – this is what true relating is about. As relationships are a, if not the fundamental feature, of the Christian life I have to say to those who are critical of Still a little charity and empathy would go a long way, but if you have not these silence can say so much.


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