Sleepwalking and Dreamwriting

I am struggling currently to make myself muster up enough motivation to complete a paper due tomorrow only to rest a bit on Friday while taking a final exam and then over the weekend compiling my large paper. If I’ve had anything in abundance over the past year or so it’s ambivalence bordering on apathy. I wish I knew the root cause so I could address it but I just can’t seem to shake this (emotional) weight like I once could.

I see more glimpses of me than I have in a while – I sing to myself constantly, which is irritating to those around me of course but is definitely a sign that perhaps the danger of frost has passed and new things can now be planted. I get really excited about things like the Zesty Sauce at Burger King (for which I have a song) and the sunflowers in my garden showing signs of life. For a girl who is so easily overjoyed (yes, even condiments) emerging from weeks and weeks of flat affect is as noticeable as it is welcome. Yet, when I sit down to a computer to write about things I really truly care about I can’t. I have sifted through this every which way possible and I’m not mad at God, or religion – that isn’t causing my blankness of mind. I think what it ultimately boils down to is a lack of faith in myself which is as difficult to restore.


One thought on “Sleepwalking and Dreamwriting

  1. my opinion? methinks you are ready to move on to the next stage of your life. 🙂 don’t be afraid to make the transition! love you!!!!!

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