Just now I witnessed a member of our community here at the ministry where I am serving run out the door to yell, seemingly inexplicably, in the face of another for a solid 4-5 minutes.
After the storm had passed from his eyes I asked him to join me on a walk and asked bluntly what the hell had brought this on, as clearly heaven had played no part. I found that at the root of it he felt disrespected. I was able to kindly and somewhat logically guide him to the conclusion that expressing his hurt at this slight, however justified, was lost in the message because of the way in which he responded.
I have been hurt deeply. We all have. Some of the ways in which I have responded when hurt have no doubt relayed the message that I am reactive; whether or not the fact that I am able to be wounded and have been at these times I don’t know. Vulnerability is a bigger risk to feel and certainly to make known than anger or explosiveness but if we can pause and articulate our hurt with certainty and calm there is strength in that.
Yes, community is hard – but we’re learning.