I’ve been thinking lately about my willingness and/or ability to live in uncertainty without making myself sick with worry. Having been in school for nearly all of my life I am used to working with rubrics and syllabi. Give me parameters to work with and I can produce for you. Provide for me a clear-cut job description and things will go well. Fail to do so and they will not.
Though that is my personality I am, interestingly, someone that reacts violently against the idea of an itinerary on a vacation or even on a weekend. In my everyday life I like very much to excel; I very much dislike to feel micromanaged. In thinking on what I want and need for myself in whatever job I seek out it seems clear to me that I need to be at least: challenged, affirmed, communicated with (& also feel like I am welcome to communicate)
and in a position where my research and writing skills are in some way put to use.
Having no structure is terrible for me and I have been feeling out of sorts these past two weeks. It will be a challenge for me as I ride this time out and put it to good use. I can only hope I don’t spiral into some type of inertia where the only thing that interests me is what’s on daytime court TV.